所属成套资源：2021译林版高考英语新课程一轮复习写作高分进阶（）
2021版高考英语新课程译林版一轮复习写作高分进阶：1.6恰当添加细节语言魅力动人 学案
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6. 恰当添加细节, 语言魅力动人
根据高考英语作文的评分标准, 作文被分成了五个档次。其中分数较高的档次对于考生作文的要求都涉及了覆盖所有内容要点、使用较多语法结构和词汇、有效使用语句间的连接成分。其中, 一个重要的方面就是在作文中要注意细节的体现。具体方法如下:
1. 列举具体的实例进行补充说明
(1)我们青少年应尽所能保护环境、拯救地球。
We teenagers should do what we can to protect the environment and save the earth.
→We teenagers should do what we can to protect the environment and save the earth. For example, we can use recyclable bags instead of plastic bags, refuse to use single-use products, plant more trees and save water and energy.
(2)我要花一些时间和父母在一起。
I’ll spend some time staying with my parents.
→I’ll spend some time staying with my parents, chatting with them and doing some housework.
(3)我想找一个像我一样喜欢旅行的笔友。
I would like to seek a pen pal who is interested in traveling just like me.
→I would like to seek a pen pal who is interested in traveling just like me. If possible, we can travel together or share traveling.
2. 增添与所写信息相关的神态、动作、心理描写以及背景渲染等内容
(1)我有时去村西的小河游泳。
I went swimming in the river in the west of the village now and then.
→I went swimming in the river in the west of the village now and then. The water in the river was very clear. (背景渲染)
→Weather permitting, I went swimming in the river in the west of the village now and then. (相关背景)
(2)我看到了一些不良行为。
I found some bad behavior.
→I found some bad behavior. Some people scribbled on the wall; some played soccer on the lawn and some people threw rubbish everywhere. (相关行为描述)
3. 增加相关信息的时间、地点等内容
(1)我要和父母一起去超市购物。
I’m going to do some shopping with my parents in the supermarket.
→I’m going to do some shopping with my parents in the supermarket and won’t be back until about 5:00 in the afternoon. (增加时间)
(2)我已经带来了你让我归还的这两本书。
I have taken with me the two books you asked me to return.
→I have taken with me the two books you asked me to return to the City Library. (增加地点)
4. 适当增加与所给信息相关的原因、结果、条件、让步、手段、目的、地点等内容
(1)假设你是李华, 你的英国笔友Henry最近来信询问你高考后的暑假安排。请根据下面要点写一封回信, 说明你的计划, 并简述理由。
要点:1. 休息;
2. 读书;
3. 参加社会活动。
①I need a good rest. I’ll do some reading.
→I need a good rest because I do feel tired after the hard work of all these years. Of course, I’ll do some reading for fun, and for knowledge as well. (因果关系)
②I’ll take part in some social activities.
→If I have free time, I’ll take part in some social activities. (条件状语)
→If possible, I’ll take part in some social activities. (条件状语)
→If possible, I’ll take part in some social activities so that/in order that I can know more about society. (结果状语)
(2)Tracy来电话说咖啡屋(Bolton Coffee)见面取消。
Tracy called, saying that she couldn’t meet you at Bolton Coffee.
→Tracy called, saying that she couldn’t meet you at Bolton Coffee as she had something important to do. (原因状语)
5. 结尾适当发挥, 写出个人感受、评价、希望、愿景、倡议等
(1)Although I was very tired this summer holiday, I felt very happy for what I did. (个人感受)
(2)I think such activities are necessary and meaningful. (评价)
(3)In a word, if she would like to learn Chinese, I hope she will do it well. (愿景)
(4)As students, it’s our duty to protect our school environment and make it clean. (倡议)
假如你是班长, 你们学校本周日将组织一次参观首都博物馆的活动, 请你写一个口头通知。相关内容如下:
安排:
1. 8:00 在学校大门口集合, 集体乘车去首都博物馆;
2. 8:40在导游的带领下参观首都博物馆;
3. 12:00参观结束, 集体乘车返回学校。
要求:
1. 参观过程中请自觉遵守公共秩序;
2. 馆内禁止拍照;
3. 参观后每人写一篇日记。
注意:
1. 词数80左右;
2. 通知的开头已为你写好。
Dear students,
Attention, please.
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
【参考范文】
Dear students,
Attention, please.
I have something to tell you. In order to know more about Beijing, we are going to pay a visit to the Capital Museum this Sunday. Be sure to arrive at the school gate before 8:00 a. m. We will go there by bus altogether. At about 8:40 a. m. , we’ll visit the museum following a guide. The visit will be over at around 12:00, and then we’ll return by bus. Please observe public order, keep quiet and avoid running. Video recording and flash photography are forbidden in the museum so you’d better take some notes since we have to write a diary after the visiting.
Hope you enjoy the visit.
That’s all. Thank you.
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